Go directly to jail

Do not collect $50b. Just go to jail, you fuck. I mean you, Bernie!

And I want Jim Cramer to have to serve as your warden, walking the cell block at night making mad money threats. It's enough to make a man sick. My man, Bernie, he always kept a smirk, even through the trial. Even in the box. Even in the cell. Even in the hole.

To the judge: may I suggest a life sentence full of hard labor?

Bernie was here. Madoff with the blog. Taken care of now. He's in the box until June.

Saying "Hell, no!" to John Cornyn

Seven years ago, we were on our way to vote, when we were accosted (within 100 feet of the door to the polling booth, btw) by John Cornyn's goons, who urged us to vote for him.

"Hell, no!" Kristin responded, without batting an eye.

Now the bastard's been in office for years, and is starting to throw his dingbat weight around at the national level, and it's showing up on t.v. He's starting to make Texas look worse than it already does to non-Texans.

His latest nonsense - trying to stand in the way of the establishment of a fact-finding commission to bring to light any potential overstepping of legal bounds by the Bush administration.

Somebody get him off the national scene, before he really fouls something up.